So we all know the famous story of Hitler and art school (he was rejected twice because he sucked). But what if his enrolment had been successful? What if he’d been an artist instead? The former question is creepy to think about, but irrelevant because his drawings were TERRIBLE. Please refer to the nude painted by Hitler in 1924, below.
Adolf Hitler, Sketch Of A Nude Woman, 1924
Moving from one political leader to another, not so long ago, we learnt (from hackers who broke into email accounts) that George W. Bush had taken the time to paint 50 different dogs, and this really creepy semi-nude bathroom self portrait, which baffled critics and anyone who looked at it.
George W. Bush, Bathroom Self Portraits, 2012
And now, Britain’s very own Prince Charles is giving it a go. Critics everywhere are panning the Prince’s watercolours since he put them online (“why doesn’t he go and paint some council estates”), but I dont think they’re so bad. They are so utterly mind numbingly boring that they are comforting, you know? They remind me of the bad art on the walls of the waiting room of my local doctors in Swindon. They’re shit, but OK to look at when you’re waiting for the morning after pill.
Prince Charles, Trees On Duchy House Farm At Highgrove, 2003
In fact, in ‘Trees on Duchy Home Farm at Highgrove’ his Royal Majesty is ALMOST daring with his palette, using bright yellows and oranges to capture sunlight hitting the trees and grass. If only he’d applied the same painterly rigour to the sky, using purples or pinks instead of the actual colour of the sky, then it could have been a fauvist inspired masterpiece! But alas, it’d look wicked at my doctors.
On Tuesday, these people (above) protested at Southwark Council HQ, with no clothes on, wearing signs that said “HANDS OFF PECKHAM”. Why? No it’s not a shitty art project (once saw a girl smear eggs and blue pigment all over her vajayjay down the road), it’s because Southwark Council’s plans to “regenerate” Peckham mean that 60 independent businesses that are in the “regeneration area” will be bulldozed and replaced with “public realm and retail units” (basically Costas) [read item 12 in Southwark Council’s Agenda] . Why should you care about saving Peckham from gentrification? Peckham is a hub of creativity and budding galleries and artspaces, and if the council plan to go ahead with item 12 then galleries such as The Sunday Painter, and Sassoon Gallery are under threat.
@savepeckham was set up shortly after Southwark Council’s agenda was published, and a small buzz about the issue arose, resulting in the above protest. For now, @savepeckham are celebrating victory, as the council have revoked “vacant possession” from their action plan (the naked protest obviously worked). To keep up with the news, follow @savepeckham and @peckhamvision on Twitter. Peckham Vision also have the latest on their Facebook page.
Artist/Critic/Rapper/Whatever Hennessy Youngman (aka Jayson Musson) is all over the internet. His Youtube art critic series ART THOUGHTZ (my favourite) made him an internet sensation, and since then he’s done a whole bunch of other stuff like fuel discussions about racism in the art world, make art out of Coogi sweaters, provide the voice for the Harlem Shake (without permission from Mad Decent), and write a book. This week he’s made a mix on Soundcloud of depressing pharmacy-inspired music, and I love it because its stale synthesised sounds echo many areas of my life.
Hennessy’s statement about CVS Bangers is as follows:
“CVS BANGERS IS THE AUDIOSCAPE FOR WHEN YOU’RE BUYING TAMPONS OR A 12 PACK OF CONDOMS, A SAMPLING OF THOSE MAGIC TUNES THAT PLAY WHEN YOU’RE CONTEMPLATING HOW RIDICULOUS YOU WOULD LOOK CARRYING 24 ROLLS OF TIOLET PAPER ON THE TRAIN, THOSE BITTERSWEET TUNES OF YESTERYEAR THAT SKIP THROUGH YOUR MIND AS YOU READ THE NUTRITIONAL INFORMATION ON THE BACK OF A BOX OF FROZEN PIZZA AND OPT FOR A PINT OF ICE CREAM INSTEAD, THOSE SPECIAL DITTIES THAT ACCOMPANY YOUR SMASHING THE BAR CODE OF A CAN OF RED BULL AGAINST THE SCANNER OF BROKEN SELF-CHECKOUT MACHINE. CVS BANGERS IS COMMERCE ITSELF, AND COMMERCE, MY FACELESS INTERNET FRIENDS, IS BEAUTIFUL.”
Here is the tracklist if you care:
“I Wanna Know What Love Is,” Foreigner
“Where Have All the Cowboys Gone,” Paula Cole
“(I Just) Died in Your Arms Tonight,” Cutting Crew
“I Love You Always Forever,” Donna Lewis
“Oh Sherry,” Steve Perry
“Lady in Red,” Chris de Burgh
“Islands in the Stream,” Dolly Parton and Kenny Rogers
“It Must Have Been Love,” Roxette
“These Dreams,” Heart
Ken Grant, Photograph from ‘Benny Profane’ Series
Lily Cole and Antony Gormley
Lily Cole is on TV! Yes she is a model, but she also received a double first in Art History from Cambridge. On Wednesday ‘Lily Cole: Art Matters’ premiered with an episode dedicated to sculptor Antony Gormley. The series will show Cole meeting seminal contemporary artists such as Tactica Dean, exploring how each artist works in their studio and what inspires them.
Arts Council England chair, Sir Peter Bazalgette delivered his inaugural lecture at London’s RSA on Wednesday. Here is a link to listen.
Dean Blunt made one of my favourite songs of last year (I only discovered this year), and it turns out he is also an artist. He has an opening at SPACE gallery tonight, which might be rubbish hipster art, or could be really good- either way there will probably be booze and boys in beanies.
Philip Vaughan is really pissed off that The Hayward Gallery has kept his neon tower in storage and didn’t include him in the light show.
This guy eats food, and then photographs his faeces afterwards. The project is called “Colourful Shit”. DO NOT LOOK AT THIS IF YOU ARE EATING.
When I was a writer for Art F City, editor Paddy Johnson asked me to write the obituary for Herbert Vogel, New York’s most loved art collector. I hadn’t heard of the Vogels, and fell in love with them when I watched this documentary. This week the Whitney premiered a new documentary on the legendary couple, and I can’t wait to see it. Here is a piece about it in the New Yorker.
The RCA start ‘Secret’ again tomorrow. It’s your chance to purchase postcards by established artists and up and coming artists- you won’t know who your postcard is by until you purchase it.
I really want a Smile-Bot! If these were installed in London, everyone wouldn’t be so miserable.
Things I am sick of seeing in people’s artwork: empty religious references and smoking